SCRUBCO Letters R & U: Respect and Uniting Behaviors

SCRUBCO Letters R & U: Respect and Uniting Behaviors

Third in the Series of Five for Calculating the Health and Sustainability of Your Relationship

R for Respect

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T!” Miss Aretha couldn’t have been more right when demanding that one. Without the respect from your partner, there can be no safe space for discussion and you will find yourself working overtime to maintain your self-esteem. If you’re partner doesn’t respect you, your concerns, your goals, your dreams, your spirituality, your role, your body, your work or your humanity, RUN, DON’T WALK.—Enough said.

U for Uniting Behaviors

Uniting Behaviors are probably the most effective tool you can develop for creating peace in a relationship. Couples who report using this tool when in a conflict also have a much better than average chance of avoiding divorce. Even if you don’t do it now, it’s easy to learn. Uniting behaviors are those statements that reflect the concerns of both parties in a conflict and are made in neutral terms. Statements usually begin with the word “we” and seek to identify common ground. For instance, if you’re fighting about how to handle the discipline of a child, you might say, “I know we both want what’s best for Johnny so let’s try to figure out a way to discipline him that works for both of us.”


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